You are born without them and spend your whole life trying to acquire them. For what? To survive in the urban pack? To get rich and retire early? No. You acquire skills to become a man of action.
A man of the world, something like a superhero, someone who can seduce a woman while you fix the gas stove. This and other things will be what distinguishes you from the manly masses, attentive:
GET THE BARTENDER TO TAKE CARE OF YOU
It seems almost impossible that the waiter can assist you within half an hour with all those people waiting. However it is easier than it seems (and obvious). Make a hole in the place of the bar closest to the waiter, look for it with visual contact and avoid making gestures, because it will ignore you if it looks desperate. The most important thing of all is to have the money at hand and where the waiter can see it. If none of this works, we recommend being prepared for the wait with an iPod and a couple of Horace Silver songs.
SEW A BUTTON
It is enough to ask your girlfriend/wife / mother if she can fix the buttons on the jacket. The logic of postmodern man is based on autonomy, therefore it is a total obligation to know how to thread a needle and double knot the thread. Sewing buttons are not difficult, but you have to practice a little. (Of course, if you can avoid the thimble, better).
BETTING ON HORSE RACES
There are two lessons to learn this skill. Lesson 1: Betting on quotas with value, a maximum that must always be met. The calculation of value is very simple: (1 / Probability of success) = Correct quotation. Lesson 2: Do things in a simple way. Bet twenty euros on a single horse. You know what they say: bet a little and you will earn a lot.
GIVE GOOD MASSAGES (IF IT CAN BE THAI STYLE)
Do not throw on your back the amount of oil with which you would fry an egg. A jet of the size of a coin is more than enough. Eye, because you can not throw it directly in the back either, but in your hands. Begin the massage by the feet and end with the head. Why this skill? Believe me, you will thank him in the future or next Saturday night.
BUY WOMEN’S CLOTHING
The Sunday movie you’re watching with your girlfriend is over. In one scene, the man gives her a dress to the beauty she is getting to know. We do not know how, but he has found the size, the color, and the model. It’s a mystery, but it’s also something every gallant man should ever do in his life. Two things are needed: credit card and the size of women’s clothing. Of course, do not even think about asking the size directly, that’s something you’ll have to foresee and guess. If you see that it is very risky, better leave it for another time.
PARK IN PARALLEL (JAMES BOND STYLE)
It has to be all at once, without stopping stepping on the gas and without going backward to correct the road. If you do it right, when you get out of the car you will find the applause of the public.
POSE WELL IN (ALL) PHOTOS
I know, I know: you’re looking at the camera, you think you’re putting on your best smile and it turns out that you come out like in all the other photos: with a horse’s mouth, some jowls, and a little cross-eyed because you did not know how to look at the target . You have also come back with the cup in your hand. Do not! If you want to look good you should not look at the camera directly. Drop your chin a bit or turn your face a few degrees to the sides so that your jaw goes well defined. You can practice before in a mirror. If this still does not work, there is another easier remedy: do not stop saying “egg” while you look at the camera. In this way, you will always do well.
CONSULATE A WOMAN IN TEARS
To do this you should always carry a (clean) handkerchief on top. When you see her crying, approach her as if you were advancing on a wounded animal that could bite you. Give her the handkerchief staring at her while you say “I’m sorry to bother you, is there anything I can do to help you?”
KNOWING HOW TO CHOOSE THE MATURE
And I mean the fruit, specifically the melon. First, you have to smell it. Mature melons tend to smell like the inside of a fresh beefsteak: sweet, smooth and sticky. Then you have to press it. As the melon matures, it softens and develops dimples in its shell the size of a fingerprint. If when you get home you have seen that you have made a mistake and you have chosen the toughest of all, use the melon to play football.
MAKING PANCAKES (FROM SCRATCH)
It is not worth buying the cornstarch in the supermarket, you must make the dough yourself.
- 2 cups of all-purpose flour
- 2 ½ teaspoons of yeast
- ½ teaspoon of salt
- 1 egg, lightly beaten
- 1 ½ cups of milk
- 2 tablespoons melted butter.
Mix the ingredients and beat them until you have a soft dough. Grease the griddle or the pan and check that they are hot before putting the dough. The trick to knowing they are well cooked, are the bubbles that come out on top of the pancake.
You May Also Like :